Crystal balls, Tarot cards, sun signs and bhavishya!

"Chandra ke teesri rashi me mangal, guru ka vishesh sthan, aaj kijiye sare shubh karya, property mein labh...durghatna sambhav- upaay: jal me .....[Read: in sab ko]...pravahit karen..";)
Phew!
 As a kid I loved reading horoscopes,it gave me great delight-a horoscope prediction coming to life! As I grew up it became an sub-conscious habit: flipping to the horoscopes section.
And then the typical phenomena struck me-once it flashed a true prediction and it got me hooked..
"The Ganesha says, Susan Miller, all that was fun, somewhat acceptable by me but the current scenario on TV leaves me wide-eyed: my observations:

Channel 1. [I guess India TV] A scary fellow with straightened black dyed hair adorning a hundred chains and wearing what looks like a black maternity gown[ now this guy will tell us what's in store for us??duh!]
Statutory Warning: He yells a lot. For  best results lets him get all excited WHILE WE WATCH HIM ON MUTE;)

2. Aaj tak: A bald man wearing a fancy dress costume *drums in the background* catch him live at 8.45 am.
Love his kathakali actions! superb! He rambles about "poora din doodh na peejiye!" as one "Upaay"[ Facepalm]

3. This one is from Tez: 8.15 I guess: A lady with heavy makeup and a weird attire, giggling hysterically, resembling an opera singer: tells us sagittarians[my clan] they should go for a manicure today. I look down at my fingers and quickly hunt for the remote.

4. This one gets the prize for being the dumbest-undoubtedly!
A lady wid a huge bindi, deep resonant voice twirls her fingers over a crystal ball and exclaims-"kark rashi- aapki devrani aur aap ke beech aaj raat shayad khane ke maamle me thodi anban ho sakti hai!" :O  Dude! Like seriously?!

5. Har til kuch kehta hai- here these jobless people count the "tils" on every visible part of a Bollywood star and analyse their past affairs, present love interests and future divorces!

6. Star news-Teen deviyaan- I know one of these is always sporting a 560 watt smile ( which makes it really difficult for her to talk)
and one of them sings a lot while predicting" sun sun sun didi tere liye ik rishta aaya hai" and " shayad meri shaadi ka khayal" (Make way for the next Indian Idol)

7. A man with a Sony vaio sitting infront of a backdrop of stars and planets, swirling quickly: he solves people's problems with a constipated, unsmiling look on his face: look closer uncle: in the laptop or in the sun-star movements or in the lines of your hands"When does your planetary position say you will flash your viewers a smile??"

I do not know whether their predictions are right or whether they have a better VISION than ours;) But I fail to understand how they convince people that planetary "left-rights" can have such a profound effect on their everyday lives that they need to refer to these VISIONARIES before execution of mundane things like going to a parlour [:O]!
The questions that I emphasise-who decides our fate? Can our fate be predicted? Can they be predicted by people like these??:O If they can predict the future, why did we have the tsunami? The Bhuj quake?The terror attacks? The floods?Do the roles our actions play get camouflaged by the amalgamation of shani and manual?Can I revert bad luck by wearing red,blue, orange stones in destined fingers?
Or can I simply believe in simple living, worthwhile actions, belief in that supreme force and leave the planets do their disco dancing!:)